


a daze of nuka-cola and radroaches

by veidtsright



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drug Addiction, F/M, Gen, Humor, Pop Culture Refrences, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, all the companions make appearances, basically everything in fallout canon that has to do with her pre-war has been thrown out the window, by the way i'm just tagging ahead of time, fear of planes, guest starring: Lucille from the walking dead, i'm gonna throw a hancock side hoe relationship in there for the off season, i'm not a slut but who knows, i’m not good at last names so i always just choose Holmes bc i’m a sherlock weeaboo, mentions of baseball, most of these tags are for later chapters i already have written, oh also i used mods, opposite of whatever the fear of death is, sex hopefully
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-06-17 01:41:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15450564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veidtsright/pseuds/veidtsright
Summary: The thrilling saga and ramblings of my Fallout 4 play-through with my Sole Survivor, Addison Holmes.Oh, yeah, and she falls in love with Paladin Danse pretty hard.(title is a play on words from a csi:ny episode which ironically is a play on words from a blake edwards film)





	1. Fire Support / Call to Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. This is my first time ever posting a fic ever so I wanna apologize in advance. 
> 
> Disclaimer: none of this belongs to me. You can thank Todd Howard and everyone else at Bethesda Softworks for ruining my life. 
> 
> I should mention that I don't plan on making the chapters chronological by any means so I hope that doesn't throw anyone off. Each chapter has the name of what quest(s) it focuses on. 
> 
> Also there are a few pop culture references in here that aren't time-period accurate. I happen to be an aspiring dramaturg so know that I'm aware of this and as far as this story is concerned I do not care as I am not getting paid to write any of this. (Bear with me because hopefully you'll think my jokes are funny enough to forgive me.)

Addison’s on her way to Corvega Assembly Plant per the settler at Tenpines Bluff’s request. She’s dealt with raiders before, most specifically in Concord (not to mention that deathclaw) so she assumes it’ll be no biggie.

Until she arrives.

She’s hiding outside the fences, Dogmeat at her heels, while she takes in the sight of the compound. The place is massive. Spotlights scan the ground for, well, people like _her_. Raiders stand guard outside from every angle she can see.

 

Okay. Well. Fuck that, then.

 

She’ll have to go back, maybe ask Preston if he can lend her a hand with this one before-

Her thoughts are interrupted when something flickers on her pip-boy. A radio signal. She toggles over to her radio on the device, spotting Military Frequency AF95, and turns it on. It’s a distress signal.

“Automated message repeating. This is Scribe Haylen of reconnaissance squad Gladius to any unit in transmission range-”

She catches ‘Cambridge Police Station’ among the frantic plea for help (most of which sounds like a foreign language to her) and figures she might as well do something with the rest of her day since the original mission seems to be a no-go.

 

Addison doesn’t remember the police station’s exact location, but she knows the general direction of Cambridge so she makes her way over there definitely not expecting to run into what she does.

 

The place is overrun with those fucking zombie things. Oh right, _feral ghouls_ , if you’ll beg her pardon. Preston’s had to correct her so many times she can practically hear his nagging voice in her head. Now she remembers why she’s out here in the first place. Everyone back home means well, but Sanctuary’s been driving her absolutely crazy. She’s the General of the Minutemen, but all Preston seems to do is send her out to help settlements and kill nearby raider gangs. She has to remind herself that it’s practice for the trip to Diamond City she plans on making. This situation might actually work to her benefit after all.

Okay. So. Time to plan.

She tries to keep herself hidden from the chaos while she thinks over how to enter into the situation smoothly, but because she’s Addison, and she unfortunately was blessed with the worst luck ever, one of them sees her and starts charging for her with at least three more following suit.

Okay. New plan. Only plan left: fucking send it.

 

“Dogmeat, kill,” she orders and he barks up at her once before absolutely going to town. God, she fucking loves that dog. Maybe she should have named him something more vicious… like Havoc or Hellraiser or Armageddon.

She pulls the Nuka-Cola Machete off of her back and hacks her way through the growing hoard and into the opening of the barricade that’s been built around the former police station. She barely has time to register the people screaming or whoever the fuck is fighting next to her because they’re being swarmed and her back is turned the entire time they spend knocking the ferals down. All she knows is they’re in power armor and have a laser rifle so they’ll be fine.

 Once the ferals are taken care of, Addison stops and looks up at the tall figure in the thick suit of power armor. She has to crane her neck all the way up to even get a glimpse of the helmet beyond the chest plate of the suit.

“Wow,” she says out loud, staring. Like a dumbass.

She’s seen power armor before, but nothing like this and wonders idly if there’s actually a person in there or not. She did just wake up last week. For all she knows, they could have made the suits into self-powered robots or something. There’s a strange logo on the chest plate resembling a sword and a … gear?

In any event, whatever the hell she just got herself into is serious.

“Stand down, civilian. We appreciate the help, but what is your business here?” Power Armor man asks.

“I got your distress signal on my pip-boy. Or rather _her_ distress signal,” she responds, nodding over to Haylen.

The dude takes off his helmet and Addison doesn’t know what she’s expecting, but it certainly isn’t that.

 

He’s, well, he’s a _man_ , that’s for sure. He’s most likely her age, probably a bit older, with thick eyebrows, deep brown eyes, and a stubbly goatee. There’s a faded scar that cuts into his left eyebrow, which off-puts the strange softness that radiates off the rest of his features. He’s kind of attractive, kind of _really_ attractive, _which you really shouldn’t be thinking about right now all things considered_ , Addison reminds herself.

 

She realizes she’s been staring and owes him an explanation. Fuck. Think fast. Uh… sarcasm?

 

“Hey, Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good,” she blurts out.

“What?” he asks, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“You know, Iron Man?” She tries to explain with a grin.

“My power armor is made of steel,” he responds in all seriousness.

_Ok. Maybe no more jokes for this guy. Strong and silent type, that’s fine._

“I was… joking? He’s a- it’s a comic book- never mind-”

“I understood the reference,” he says, clearly very annoyed, “Who are you?”    

“Pest exterminator. I heard you had a feral problem.”

_Stupid, Addison. Stupid. We literally just said-_

“Evading my questions is a surefire way of getting yourself ejected from the compound. Are you from a local settlement?”

“Easy, there. I’m just as confused as you are. I’m a vault dweller, if you insist upon interrogating me. Do all these questions really matter? After all, I helped you fight those ferals. If I were here to kill you, I would have done it already.”

“You make a fair point. If I appear… suspicious it’s because our mission here has been difficult. Since the moment we arrived in the Commonwealth, we’ve been constantly under fire.”

“You and me both. Like I said, I’m from a vault. This is all still a bit new to me.”

Despite the fact that she’s literally wearing her vault suit, she can tell he’s not buying it.

“I find that hard to believe with the way you charged right in and took care of those ferals.”

“Target practice,” she says with a shrug, smiling a bit at the compliment.

“Either way, if you want to continue pitching in, we could use and extra gun on our side,” he offers.

He suddenly finds his comment ironic as he notices she only has a 10mm pistol holstered on her hip. Instead of guns, she’s carrying multiple knives and melee weapons strapped to her back, including the Machete in her hand and a … barbed wire baseball bat?

“Running low on ammo?” He asks.

Ah. So he can make a joke. Asshole.

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m just more of a close combat kinda guy. Gives things more of a personal touch, if you will.”

Dance stares at her with an eyebrow raised and a look that would clearly land her in the looney bin if this were 200 years ago.

“Okay, fine. That was a lie. I don’t know how to use guns very well. I was just trying to sound like a badass,” she admits.

Danse almost smiles. Almost.

“Look, dude, I’ll help you out, but I don’t like all the secrecy. Who are you? Really?” she asks.

“Very well. I’m Paladin Danse, Brotherhood of Steel. Over there is Scribe Haylen and Knight Rhys. We’re on recon duty, but I’m down a man and our supplies are running low. I’ve been trying to send a distress call to our superiors, but the signal’s too weak to reach them.”

“Well, nice to meet you. Sorry about the unfortunate circumstances. I’m Addison. Addison Holmes.”

She looks over to the other two. She almost forgot they were there for a moment. The woman is looming over the man leaning against the doors of the station. He’s injured and she’s doing her best to try and tend to his wound without hurting him. She’s failing, if his winces and swearing are any indication of that.

“Sir, If I May?” the woman interjects.

“Proceed, Haylen.”

“I’ve modified the radio tower on the roof of the police station, but I’m afraid it just isn’t enough. What we need is something that will boost the signal.”

He nods, understanding what Haylen is getting at. And thank god for that because Addison is really fucking lost.

“Our target is ArcJet Systems, and it contains the technology we need… the Deep Range Transmitter. We infiltrate the facility, secure the transmitter, and bring it back here. So what do you say? Are you willing to lend the Brotherhood of Steel a hand?” Danse all but pleads.

Addison stares at the dude as if he’s gone absolutely out of his mind.

“The _WHOM?”_ she asks.

**~**

Danse is appalled to say the absolute least and he’s about to ask what kind of a question that is until his eye catches the vault suit again. Oh. Right.

“Our order seeks to understand the nature of technology. It’s power. It’s meaning to us as humans. And we fight to secure that power from those who would abuse it,” he tries to explain in… layman’s terms?

 

He studies her for a reaction to his rather vapid explanation and while he does he notices how downright comical their height difference is. She’s all of 5 feet tall _maybe_ and if he had to guess he’d say no more than 100 pounds. Not strange for a vault dweller. Usually they’re pretty healthy in comparison to the rest of the wasteland left up above to basically kill for their own food. Danse has always considered vault dwellers to be pretty stuck-up and rude, but thankfully she doesn’t seem to fit that stereotype. The woman hasn’t even asked him for caps in exchange for her help.

 

He’s confused because he can’t exactly figure her out just yet. The vault dweller theory is definitely confirmed despite her obvious skill with a machete because when he looks at her face he can see literally nothing wrong with it. She’s… well she’s pretty, but that’s not exactly what he’s referring to. She has no radiation marks, no scars, no blemishes or roughness to mar her features. In fact, she doesn’t even look like she’s been out of a vault her entire life-

 

Danse’s thoughts are cut short when she speaks again.

 

“Okay, sure. I’ll help. Why the fuck not?”

Danse then notices her extremely wide eyes, light brown, like his own. They look… sad somehow as if she’s seen much more than her outside appearance suggests. Danse reminds himself that he doesn’t have the time to worry about anything else besides getting the transmitter right now so he just ignores his curiosity.

“Outstanding,” he announces.

 

“Haylen, take Rhys inside and bind his wounds.”

“Yes, sir,” she responds.

“Rhys, once you’re on your feet, I want you to make certain that the perimeter is secure.”

“I’m on it,” Rhys manages, getting to his feet.

“Alright civilian…” Danse turns his attention back to Addison. “It’s time to prove your worth. Head into the police station and resupply yourself, then let me know when you’re ready to begin.”

“Gotcha.”

“Alright people, let’s move out,” He yells and stalks back into the station.

Addison looks down to Dogmeat at her side and pets his head affectionately before following Danse.

“All right big guy, lets go,” Haylen sighs as she helps Rhys into the station.

“Yeah, Yeah… I’m coming,” he mumbles, biting his lip to stop from crying out in pain again.

**~**

Once she’s “resupplied”, also known as: spotting a bottle of vodka on the counter and excusing herself to the bathroom to chug a quarter of it, (she almost cried upon spotting it and she’s not proud) she returns to Danse’s side. After introducing herself to Haylen and getting mostly the cold shoulder and a few less than decent comments from Rhys, they head out.

 The trip to ArcJet (Danse taking the lead and her following behind) is nothing short of eye-opening because apparently the good paladin is prone to talking a mile a minute, spewing out everything from Brotherhood propaganda to random history facts. Anyways, Addison isn’t complaining. She can use all the information about this new wasteland she can get.

“You really don’t know what Mierlerks are?” Danse suddenly asks, snapping her out of her thoughts. “How long were you in that vault?”

He sees her face turn sheet white and immediately regrets asking the question.

“I’m sorry,” he offers. “I didn’t mean to be so forward.”

Forward? That’s what he thinks is forward? Addison wants to laugh.

“No, you’re fine. I was… um, well I’m not really from here. Or, like, this time period. At all. The… experiment, if you will, that my vault conducted may have included cryogenically freezing all of us.”

Danse actually literally stops in his tracks and turns to stare at her, jaw almost dropped to the ground.

“You’re gonna catch bloatflies like that, Paladin,” she jokes.

He closes his mouth and shakes his head as if the statement had physically shocked him.

“Also, it may have been for 200 years and I may have been the only one to survive besides my infant son who appears to be M.I.A. for the time being.”

“That… that explains a lot,” is all he can manage to say. “You have no idea where he is?”

“Not really. I heard there’s someone in Diamond City who could possibly help. I just haven’t really gotten up the courage to go there yet.”

“When you say no one else made it…”

She knows where he’s going with this.

“Whoever took my son, I was awake to see it happen. My husband was holding him. They shot him in the chest and literally pried the kid from his cold dead hands if you can believe it. Then they froze me again and when I woke back up all the other people in the pods had met the same fate I guess.”

“I’m sorry to hear that about your husband.”

“Nah, don’t be. Nate was a huge asshole. I was one more black-eye away from asking for a divorce anyways. Watching him get shot was kind of a blessing. But the kid, he didn’t do anything wrong. That’s why I feel like I have a responsibility to... raise him right? I don’t know. I never really pegged myself for the motherly type, but it’s whatever. I owe it to him to at least try to find him.”

Danse doesn’t know if he should be impressed or concerned with the completely despondent way she had just shrugged off a tragedy that would make anyone else nothing less than distraught.

“You look surprised.”

“I can’t seem to figure you out.”

“Make a deduction, then.”

“You’re clearly not a mercenary, or you would have asked me for caps the second I asked for your help.”

“Top marks, Paladin.”

“You spent at least ten minutes trying to avoid me asking questions about you and suddenly you’ve told me your whole life story.”

She whistles, “Whoa there, if you want the whole life story, we’re gonna have to save that for another day. But to answer your question, I just wanted you to talk first.”

“You barely know me.”

“Exactly why I’m confortable telling you. Who the hell are you gonna tell? You don’t know any of my settlers, whoever you do know probably couldn’t care less, and you need my help so it’s not like you’re going to leave me.”

“Are you saying you’re trying to manipulate me into being your therapist?”

“I’m not asking for advice. I just wanted to vent. Nothing personal.”

 

Danse isn’t as talkative as he normally is for the rest of the walk. They happen to stumble across a small group of raiders underneath some bridge and Danse takes a shot to the chest, but it’s immediately deflected off his power armor.

“Well, that certainly comes in handy, doesn’t it?” she jokes. “Now I understand all the hype.”

“It gets the job done,” Danse says with a shrug and a smile Addison’s never seen from him before.

“But, I don’t fly,” he adds.

“Huh?” she asks, extremely confused.

“Iron Man flies, doesn’t he?”

The grin on her face and her sudden burst of laughter makes even him start chuckling.

~

The ArcJet mission is a success. Danse explains what synths are, how much he despises them, and Addison gets to try her hand at killing a few. She gets to show off her hacking skills at a terminal, Danse gives her insight to something called The Institute, and they find the Deep Range Transmitter or whatever.

 

Oh, and Addison accidentally almost blows Danse up with a fucking rocket. To be fair, he had instructed her to. _"Don't just stand there! Push a button! Push everything!"_   So, really, she had just followed orders. She pushed the big red button and the platform went up in flames while Danse helplessly took a knee and got cooked by the flames. 

You hate to see it.

But, he’s fine, really. Well, he’s alive. To his credit, he takes it all better than she expects him to. She really thought for a second there that she was going to get yelled at big time. 

 

“Well, that could have gone smoother, but mission accomplished,” he says a bit irritably when they make it outside the back of the building.

“Aside from almost blowing you up, I think we work pretty well as a team,” she responds.

“Agreed. It’s a refreshing change to work with a civilian who can follow orders properly. That being said, I believe we have two important matters to discuss. First and foremost, if you’ll hand me the Deep Range Transmitter, I’d like to compensate you for your assistance during this operation.”

She hands him the Transmitter.

“Yay, I love presents,” she says with a smile.

He shakes his head with that ‘I should have you institutionalized’ look he’s been fond of giving her since they met this afternoon.

“I think you’ll find this weapon useful. It’s my own personal modification of the standard Brotherhood Laser Rifle. Shouldn’t be too hard to figure out for a beginner and fusion cells are a lot easier to come by nowadays than ballistic ammunition.”

He hands it over.

“I- Thank you.”

“May it serve you well in battle.”

She stares down at the gun with awe and can’t help but think that not many people have been this kind to her in… well… her whole life basically. With her friends at Sanctuary being the exception, everyone’s been downright awful.

“Now, as far as the second matter goes, I wanted to make you a proposal. We had a lot thrown at us back there. Our op could have ended in disaster, but you kept your cool and handled it like a soldier. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve got what it takes. You could spend the rest of your life wandering from place to place, trading an extra hand for a meager reward. Or, you could join the Brotherhood of Steel and make your mark on the world. So, what do you say?”

Okay, first he gives her a _beautiful_ gun and now he’s _complementing_ her? What fresh hell did Addison stumble into over here? She activated a rocket on this man and he’s given her a gun and just asked her to join his team? _Maybe chivalry isn’t dead._

“That would be-“ she stops suddenly and Danse notices the smile on her face turn to a slight frown.

“Is everything alright?” he asks.

“Um, Paladin Danse, I would be… honored to join, but I can’t. There’s something I have to do first. Something important. I don’t know how long it’s going to take, but I’ve got to keep my priorities straight for right now.”

Danse tries not to sound too disappointed with her response.

“I understand,” he says, “when you change your mind, you know where to find us. It’s getting dark. You should stay at the police station tonight and take off in the morning.”

They make it back to the police station in good time. Haylen assures Danse that she plans on getting to work with the transmitter tomorrow. Danse shows Addison to an empty mattress that she can sleep on for the night. She goes outside to have a cigarette and that’s it. Lights out. The day is over. Goodnight.

 

**~**

  
Danse can’t sleep.

 

He knows he _should_ be sleeping, but he can’t. Every time he closes his eyes he sees death. It’s almost as if at night all the fucking memories of all the fucking worst moments of his life have to replay in his goddamn head on a loop. He closes his eyes and sees the raider disabling Keane’s power armor and shooting him point blank in the face. He sees Brach’s terrified face looking back at him when the man realized he’d accidentally stepped on a fucking landmine and was about to be blown to smithereens as soon as he stepped off. He sees Worwick sobbing and yelling out in pain, clutching the picture of his wife and son to his chest as Haylen gives him stimpack after stimpack to try and ease the pain. He sees Dawes being literally ripped in half by the supermutant brute who just laughed the whole fucking time.

 

Danse sighs and rubs his face, sitting up on the mattress. He throws the blanket off of himself and grabs his pack of cigarettes and lighter, heading outside to calm the shaking that his hands can’t seem to stop doing. He’s suddenly grateful he hasn’t smoked all day because the first inhale is always the best, nicotine clouding the ever-present buzzing in his head.  

 

He knows what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is. He knows what anxiety disorders are. He’s read every piece of information he can about his mental health issues and he still can’t seem to figure out _why_ he’s still like this. He knows it’s “normal for a soldier such as yourself to experience and more common than you’d think.” He can hear Cade’s words in his head as clearly as if the man were standing right in front of him, but Danse doesn’t _feel_ normal. Even if his symptoms _have_ gotten better than they first were. Ever since Cutler… well ever since _Cutler_ , he’s been having these issues and he feels fucking trapped in every sense of the word. That’s why he'd agreed to take on the Commonwealth in the first place. He needed to be out in the field instead of confined to the Prydwen. One night it had gotten so bad that he'd nearly strangled Quinlan for accidentally using a trigger word. He still barely remembers that incident. Danse had just…snapped, apparently. One second he was laughing and drinking with the rest of the crew and the next he had the poor Proctor in a fucking chokehold, screaming. It had taken months after that for Elder Maxson to even agree to let him off the ship.

 

Danse finishes his cigarette and tosses the butt on the ground. It lands perfectly next to another one that wasn’t his usual brand so that means it must have been Addison’s from before. He suddenly feels a bit guilty for worrying about himself after hearing her story earlier. And to make it all worse she’d shrugged it off like it was nothing. _Nothing personal my ass._ Now she’s got him in his feelings. He feels _terrible_. He can only imagine what it must have been like to wake up 200 years in the future with literally nothing except for the faint hope of a child still out there.

 

If anything, thinking about her problems has officially exhausted him enough to drag himself back to bed and finally sleep for the few hours he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Iron Man what can I say. 
> 
> Also Danse's PTSD breaks my heart.


	2. Out in Left Field / The Devil's Due (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison reflects on her relationship with Danse after a rather close call while investigating the Museum of Witchcraft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, the chapters wont exactly be in order because I cannot for the life of me write in order. 
> 
> If I had to guess, I'd say this is sometime after Addison joins the brotherhood, but before the Glowing Sea. I usually try to knock out as many side quests as I can before continuing on with the main quest when I play and I just recently went through the Museum of Witchcraft so that's what inspired this. Plus, the Moe Cronin quest always has me dying laughing so there's a flashback to it in here. 
> 
> I guess this chapter would be considered an established relationship between her and Danse, but not exactly just yet. You'll see what I mean.

Addison and Danse stand outside the Museum of Witchcraft, surveying the location the best they can without being able to get inside. The front door is chained from the inside and they seem to be at a dead end.

They didn’t _have_ to find a way inside, exactly, but Addison’s curiosity had gotten the better of her when a guard from Diamond City mentioned in passing earlier that something strange seemed to be going on at the museum. So far, it seems like his suspicions had been wrong as nothing looks out of the ordinary besides the gothic architecture that no doubt was purposefully intended to scare any customers it might have had back in the day.

Danse had agreed to come along with Addison for the trip (like she knew the history buff would) and seemed equally disappointed by their findings.

They trek around the back of the massive building and stumble across a mutilated body in the backyard. Bingo.

“What the hell do you think happened to him?” Danse asks.

Addison loots the body, finding some bottle caps and a holotape.

“Guess we’ll find out,” she replies, holding up the tape so he can see.

She pops it in her pip boy and plays it loud enough so they can both hear.

 

The voice on the holotape is a woman. She says something about being a gunner and working on a mission inside the museum. There is a distant roar in the background from some animal as she frantically calls to another man and suddenly the tape ends.

 

“What do you think that was?” she asks. “Yao guai?” Addison asks.

“Could be,” Danse agrees. “Whatever it was, it seems to be gone for now.”

Addison nods and she catches sight of a hatch out of the corner of her eye. She walks over to it and tries to pry the handle up, but it’s too heavy.

“Danse,” she calls. “Help me out with this.”

He makes his way to her side and together they pull the door up and out of the way, making a loud noise. They peer into the hole and spot a ladder going down into what must be the basement of the museum and she looks up at Danse with a smirk.

“Ladies first,” he offers and suddenly her smirk turns into a grimace accompanied by and eye roll.

~

Addison makes her way down the ladder and turns to look at the room she’s in. She spots a toolbox and opens it to see if she can find anything of use inside. She hears Danse drop down into the hole behind her, his power armor giving away that he didn’t need to use the ladder. All she finds in the toolbox is a screwdriver and a wrench. Disappointing.

 

She’s about to move to check the shelves all around her for more items until suddenly, Danse has one arm wrapped around her waist from behind and his other hand is clamped over her mouth. She tries to get out of his grasp, not that she doesn’t mind being close to him per-say, but because she’s extremely confused.

( _And_ a creepy old museum isn’t exactly her idea of voyeurism.)

Besides, Danse is usually all _‘Ad Victorium’_ and _‘For Elder Maxson’_ with guns blazing when they come across a hostile so what was the big deal-

That’s when she hears the deathclaw. Its growl sends a shiver up her spine, making all the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She can feel the blood drain from her face and pool down her body where that sick nervous feeling starts fluttering in her belly.

Addison looks up at Danse with panic in her eyes. She’s fought a deathclaw before, but it wasn’t exactly the most pleasant experience she’s had in her life. Truly, she was scared to fucking death back in Concord and she was wearing power armor then. Every time she and Danse had come across one on their travels, they’d hidden out until it left on his orders.

His explanations from all those times before still ring in her ears:

 

_"My advice for hunting a deathclaw: return to base and forget about it-you will live longer."_

 

And,

 

_"Don't underestimate the deathclaw, I've seen one tear open power armor like it was a tin can."_

 

And, annoyingly,

 

_"Did you know Elder Maxson took a deathclaw out with nothing but a combat knife? And he has the scars to prove it."_

 

Addison hates to admit it, but for the first time in her life she actually _wishes_  they were in the company of Arthur Maxson right about now.

When she stops fidgeting against Danse, he slowly releases her, bringing the hand around her waist up to his lips with one finger, silently telling her to be quiet. He looks to the hatch where they’d just appeared from, but the footsteps from the floor above them get heavier, louder, closer and he flinches when he hears them stop directly atop where he and Addison are standing. It sniffs around and after a few long, agonizing moments, the creature seems to give up and walk away, dust falling on them from the horrible state of the ceiling.

“It must be a savage deathclaw by the way it’s so sensitive to hearing and smell,” Danse whispers.

“We just leave,” Addison whispers back.

“We can’t. It heard us enter, it’s going to hear us leave. Plus, I can't step on that ladder in power armor.”

Addison doesn’t even need to be told that they can’t afford to take that option. It’ll chase them, hunt them down.

 

Fuck. _Fuck._ They’re going to die in here. They’re going to die and it’s her fault. She’s about to panic, Danse can tell by the look in her eyes.

 

“Stay with me, Soldier,” he whispers. “We can do this. We just have to be strategic.”

Addison just closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and nods for his sake.

 

They have to kill it. Wonderful.

 

“We have to be extremely quiet,” he says. “Do you have a stealth boy?”

“One. You should use it since you’re in the power armor.”

“Agreed. You should be small enough to hide somewhere or sneak up on it when it can’t see you.”

“I have just the thing,” she says, rummaging through her backpack to find a silencer.

She attaches it to her ridiculously OP modified pipe pistol. Her combat shotgun would be ideal in this situation, but that would cause too much noise if she were to accidentally miss and she’s never really had the need to make a suppressor for a fucking shotgun before. She slings it over her back anyways as a last resort, stashing all her other weapons back in the bottomless pit of a backpack the Brotherhood had issued her. 

“Bullets?” he asks.

Smart question, considering .308 ammo is ridiculously hard to come by in the wasteland for some reason. Sometimes she’ll get lucky to find huge quantities of it in super mutant meat bags, but not even Teagan or Arturo seem to have much of it to sell when she’s looking.

“Twelve,” she responds. “Fuck.”

“It’s fine. We’ll make it work,” Danse responds, shaking his head.

Upon reflection, Addison realizes she didn’t exactly take the bullet problem into consideration when she’d made the modification ages ago, but it’s one of her most powerful guns and she’s stuck with it. 

Addison gives Danse the stealth boy and he reloads his laser rifle and they’re good to go. Hopefully. 

“And if this doesn’t work?” she asks.

Danse wracks his brain for a minute before his eyes light up in that adorable way they do when he has one of his ‘ _Eureka!_ ‘ moments.

“How many grenades do you have?” he asks.

She looks through her backpack again and pulls out four (beautifully made, if she says so herself) baseball grenades and two frag grenades. She places them out on the floor. They each take a frag grenade and two baseballs, equipping them for if all else fails.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

They walk as quietly as they can through the opening in the wall in front of them that leads to a hallway with another opening. They’re stopped dead in their tracks when a human arm bone falls down from one of the cracks and they look to each other with pure fear in their eyes. Slowly, they continue through the maze of museum hallways until they come across a room with half it’s door missing. More dust and debris falls on them as the deathclaw stalks above, growing and chomping on something that has to be human flesh judging from the smell of rotting bodies all around them. Addison turns the handle of the bottom half of the door extremely slowly and when it’s unhatched, she slowly pushes it open.

Of course the thing creaks louder than any door she’s probably ever opened in her life. She looks back to Danse with an apology and he has his eyes scrunched closed painfully at the sound as well. When nothing happens for about five seconds, he reopens his eyes and gives her the nod to continue forward. They get to a much larger opening than all the ones before it and Danse waves her over to him as he heads for the corner of the room.

 

Their method of communication is obviously very limited at the moment. So they have to make due with the next best thing: baseball signs. (One of their little inside jokes that turned out to be extremely useful in the field, pun _definitely_ intended there.)

Basically this shenanigan had come about during one of their trips to Diamond City. Addison was seeking out Moe Cronin for an upgrade to Lucille. He’d offered to pay her and Danse to go find some lost baseball memorabilia he’d desperately wanted to collect and they had obliged, not knowing that Westing Estate was absolutely overrun with Mirelurks. They really _had_ been out in left field for that one. Nonetheless, Moe had gotten his trophies and Addison had gotten her money and everything was swell until the man started butchering America’s pastime right in front of her.

~

_“What the hell is a swatter?” Addison asks, dumbfounded._

_“Rookie, eh?” Moe begins with a laugh, “A Swatter, my friend, is a Diamond City tradition. See it used to be that this whole place was a stadium. And two teams would meet and play a game called baseball. One team would beat the other team to death with these things called ‘baseball bats’, and the best bats were called Swatters. True fact….”_

_Danse looks absolutely appalled while standing next to her._

_“Oh, really?” she asks Moe, playing along because she was amused, “What kinds of teams were there?”_

_He goes on to give her an explanation about the ‘Diamond City Demolishers’ and the ‘Concord Crushers’ and the ‘Lexington Ladies.’ He then starts explaining his version of what baseball cards were used for and Addison has to stop herself from laughing in his face._

_“The teams would also beat the spectators to death, right? That’s how the term ‘spectator sport’ got started," she says sarcastically._

_“That’s positively barbaric,” Danse comments, not understanding the sarcasm._

_She rolls her eyes at Danse and finally decides to put Moe in his place._

_“Hey, dumbass, that’s not how baseball was played,” she says, gaining back the authority in her voice._

_“That right, little-miss-smarty-pants? If you’re such an expert, how do you think it was played?” Moe asks, clearly offended._

_“It was America’s pastime. It brought families and friends together on summer days… for the most part. The rules are too much to get into right now, but it wasn’t violent. Unless the players got into a fight about a bad call or something.”_

_“That sounds ideal. It’s a shame it was so long ago,” Danse says in awe, which makes Addison smile._

_“…Yeah I like my version better,” Moe mumbles as Addison and Danse walk away._

_Addison finds it adorable, his obsession with the past. He’s always so curious about history, even though he clearly knows most of it already and goes out of his way to make sure she knows every opportunity he can._

_“What were the rules?” Danse asks. “Do you have time to teach me?”_

~

And that’s how they’d ended up spending an entire night at Home Plate discussing every single thing there is to know about baseball. Upon hearing about the signs coaches and catchers used to signal the players without the other team knowing, Danse (being Danse) had suggested the Brotherhood could benefit by adopting that strategy in case of emergencies. So, together, they had created their signs and not a single other soul knew what they meant.

It had made Addison feel strange… in a good way, but strange nonetheless. Even though it was something as simple as baseball, she and Danse had something that was _theirs_. Together. That had been when she realized how much she actually cared for the Paladin and she would do anything to keep him by her side.

 

Danse signs Addison the order to peer around the corner and report back to him. back pressed against the wall, she inches along the perimeter until she gets to the edge and spins around with her gun aimed. She scans the area quickly, too quickly in fact, because she jumps in fright and shoots her gun when she mistakes two mannequins for hostiles. She takes a deep breath when she realizes her mistake and puts her hands on her knees to bend over and calm down for a second. Danse stares at her from across the room with concern on his face and holds up both his hands in a ‘what the fuck’ gesture. She rolls her eyes and signs him the all clear and he walks over to her to find out what the problem is. He spots a mannequin on the ground with a bullet in its head and he has to physically cover his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

Most importantly, however, there is a flight of stairs at the end of the room. Hooray. Another step closer to their impending doom. Just as that thought forms in her head, a body crashes through the floorboards, clearly mutilated severely only minutes ago by the deathclaw. Surprisingly neither Addison nor Danse flinch at that, they just stare at it, both letting out a deep sigh at exactly the same time.

 

_RIP, my dude._

 

And RIP them if this plan doesn’t go well.

~

Climbing the stairs is _terrifying_ , Danse almost falls through a hole in the floor, they find a peephole into to the room holding the deathclaw, (along with some wacky shit going on with mannequins strategically placed in cult formations) and the door to the room creaks again upon opening it.

Danse pulls Addison back by the fabric of her uniform to whisper in her ear.

"Aim for the legs to slow it down. It might give us a chance to survive."

She nods in agreement as he activates the stealth boy and is invisible for the time being. Addison flicks off her safety, and crouches into the room, gun drawn.

The deathclaw has it’s back turned to her and has occupied itself with another unfortunate victim, giving her the perfect opportunity to quickly fire three mostly silent shots in it’s left leg. She goes back to hiding behind the pillar while the creature lets out a blood-curdling roar and turns around to search for her. Danse wastes no time in firing his laser rifle rapidly at the other leg and the deathclaw turns every which way to try and find the source. Addison watches as the stealth boy glitches out for a second and she can see Danse along with the deathclaw. It charges for Danse, but suddenly he’s invisible again and the deathclaw turns its head, spotting her instead.

Ah, fuck.

Addison pulls out the shotgun and begins a system of firing and reloading, while keeping her distance and running in circles with the deathclaw. It’s not going down and she sees a baseball flying through the air, landing next to it with a thud before exploding under the beast. It lets out another roar of pain, but still isn’t down yet. Danse’s stealth boy stops working and she can see him at the other end of the room, readying another grenade.

 

“Danse, NO!” she shouts.

Because the room around them is already on fire enough and they are not under any fucking circumstances dying of smoke inhalation in the museum of fucking witchcraft when a deathclaw is so close she could almost stab it. 

Stab it.

Suddenly, Addison has an idea. She shimmies her machete out of her backpack and tosses the pack on the ground along with her guns. She catches Danse’s eyes from across the room and his go wide with horror.

“Addison, NO!” he shouts. 

But, its too late for anything rational at this point. Addison runs straight for the deathclaw and jumps as high as she can, swiping her machete along its neck. It jerks up, suddenly in pain, giving her the perfect opportunity to land, sliding between its legs while she drags the machete down its torso. She’s being absolutely drenched in its blood and its skin is so hard to cut into that she feels like her arms are going to break off, but she manages, and soon finds herself laying on the floor, catching her breath while Danse empties an entire clip into the deathclaw’s head and it falls over with a loud thud.

~

Addison is spread out on the floor, gasping so hard to catch her breath that she actually starts coughing. The fire from the grenade is dying down, but the lingering smoke doesn’t at all help her out. Danse is at her side in two huge strides and kneeling to help her sit up right. He goes into complete medic mode as he looks her over, trying to distinguish which blood is from the deathclaw and which is her own, if any. There's a huge gash on her arm that cut through her uniform and skin, which is probably at risk of infection by being in contact with the deathclaw guts. 

“Are you alright?” he asks.

She tries to answer, but she just starts coughing again and before she knows it, she’s being lifted up bridal style by huge metal arms and being taken to the next room away from the smoke. Danse sets her down on the floor and leaves to grab her discarded backpack from the room they just came from. When he gets back, he exits his power armor and rummages through the pack.

Addison’s lungs are finally clear enough for her to choke out, “Danse, i’m fine, really-”

“You need Rad-Away just to be safe. I’ve never been covered in deathclaw blood myself, but I can’t imagine it’s very healthy.”

He doesn’t hesitate to zip her uniform down to her waist and help free her arms from the fabric carefully. The clean skin of her torso contrasts heavily with the deep red blood and black ash covering her face and neck, but she’s thankful her face is hidden at the moment because she’s blushing because of the fact that Danse had just stripped her down to her bra. She doesn’t know why she’s still shy around him when it comes to their .... relationship? Is that the word? Addison isn’t sure what they are, exactly, but he’s literally seen her naked, they’ve had sex for Christ’s sake, so she’s not sure why she still feels like a the fucking Virgin Mary every time she’s exposed in front of him.

He cleans her arm wound with some purified water and wipes off all the infected blood he can before bandaging it up efficently. 

Danse then scoops her into his lap sideways as he sits up against the wall. Addison is surprised, but too exhausted to protest and lays her head against his chest while he finds the vein to stick the needle in. The feeling of the chem pumping through her blood is oddly soothing and Danse’s body is so warm she wants to fall asleep right there. 

“Hey,” he says, nudging her with a small smile. “Stay with me, soldier.” 

Same words from before. She doesn't know how, but Danse always knows how to make her feel better. Safe, even. 

“Decorum prohibits this, you know,” she jokes.

She knows how weird he is about keeping whatever the fuck they are a secret from the Brotherhood.

It makes him chuckle, at least.

“Yeah, well, I feel like being close to you right now.”

And now she has butterflies in her stomach. 

“You gonna _accidentally_ leave that statement out of the field report, Danse?”

“Shut up, Addison.”

~

Once Danse is reassured that Addison is fine, they get back to what they were originally here to do. They split up and explore the top floor of the museum. Addison finds a new issue of Grognak she hasn’t read yet and pockets it. Danse stumbles on something much more exciting.

“Addison!“ he calls.

“Danse?” she responds in the same tone.

“You’re going to want to see this.”

She walks over to the room he’s in and is shocked at what she sees.

Scattered all over the bathroom floor are cracked deathclaw eggs and another mutilated body. Danse gets to work looting it and tosses her another holotape over his shoulder. She catches it one-handed and plays on her pip-boy, tossing the previous one. 

The man’s voice plays throughout the room as he talks about a single deathclaw egg that’s still in perfect condition. He also says something about Wellingham from Diamond City hiring the gunners to bring him the egg for caps. The deathclaw apparently had followed them because they’d stolen her eggs. He also expresses remorse for not returning the eggs back to the nest.

“Stupid,” Danse comments, standing up from the floor after the message cuts out. 

Though Addison agrees with him, something compels her to keep looking around the bathroom. She finally finds the pristine egg hiding behind the toilet and picks it up. She meets Danse’s eyes and he crosses his arms over his chest while his mouth sets into a thin line of disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” he says, shutting her down imediately.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to do with it.”

“If you’re thinking of taking it back to Diamond City, we’re not doing it. This was _wrong_ and neither of us are short on caps right now. Put it down.”

“We should return it to the nest," she argues. 

Return it to the nest? Is she fucking _crazy?_ He shouldn’t have even asked that. It’s always a rhetorical question when it comes to Addison.

“No. The mother is dead. You heard it yourself."

“We should still get it out of here-“

“I said no.”

“But Danse-"

“I’m not arguing this any longer, Knight. Put the egg down. That is an order.”

She hates when he pulls rank on her, especially now. It makes her fucking blood boil and he knows it.

“I’m taking it back to the nest. You don’t have to come with me, _Paladin_.”

She stomps past him, brushing her shoulder against his arm harshly and grabs her bag, heading to the front door. He’s starting to get angry, which doesn’t happen often. Addison just knows how to push his buttons like that. He takes a deep breath before following her to the foyer. She struggles with the chain, while he continues the conversation.

“We need to talk. _Now_ ,” he demands.

“Oh, would you just take it easy?” she asks. “It’s _maybe_ ten minutes past the Asylum. I’ll be back before dark.”

“ _Take it easy?_ If I lost my calm, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Listen up, because I’m only going to tell you this once-”

“If you’re going to lecture me, save it, Danse,” she spits and continues picking the lock of the chains with a bobby pin.

Oh, now he’s pissed.

“Look. At. Me,” he says through gritted teeth.

She ignores him.

“FUCK!” she hisses when the bobby pin breaks. She rummages through her backpack for another.

He grabs her arm and spins her away from the lock until eye contact is made.

“We’re out here in the Commonwealth representing the _Brotherhood of Steel_. And I am doing my damnedest to keep you on the right path by taking you under my wing and showing you the way. But it seems you’ve decided to throw that all away… to ignore everything i’ve been teaching you. If you decide to _continue_ on this path, I refuse to be apart of it any longer. We’ll end our partnership and go our separate ways.”

_“What?”_ she asks, eyes going wide with shock. “It’s just an egg, Danse! What the fuck do you mean you’ll _leave?_ ”

“You seem to forget that I’m a Paladin. I can still follow my orders and do my part for the Brotherhood of Steel, but I don’t have to travel with _you_ to do it. You do remember that I accomplished everything I have _without_ you, yes? I had a life _before_ you. I can prove just as useful elsewhere. I don’t have to follow you around while you keep throwing yourself into dangerous situations, helping _random_ people for your own absolution. I don’t share your ludicrous death wish-”

Danse stops suddenly because Addison looks like she’s just gotten slapped in the face. He lets go of her arm quickly and before he can say anything, she speaks up in a very small, very sad voice he hasn’t heard her use in a very long time. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize all that was having an effect on our relationship.”

He has too much pride and he’s still so _angry_ that he can’t bring himself to apologize.

“Well then, consider this your wake up call. What you need to do is stand back and take a good look at yourself. If I’m right, I don’t think you’ll like what you’ll see and you’ll want to do something about it.”

Addison’s eyes sting with tears and she tries to blink them back, but is unsuccessful.

Oh fuck. Danse had just made her cry. That’s not at all what he was trying to do.

"Addison-"

"No. Fuck you, Danse." 

She turns back to the chained door and manages to get the lock off in one try this time. She doesn’t say anything else as she picks up the egg and leaves, slamming the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw. Their first fight. Part 2 of this chapter is coming up soon!


	3. The Devil's Due (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the Prydwen, Elder Maxson accidentally sees something he shouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s short. Picks up hours after the museum of witchcraft. Not really necessary to the plot exactly, but I needed practice writing Maxson in chapters besides the ones post-blind betrayal where he’s just captain douchebag of the S.S. Fascism. 
> 
> Despite the fact that I despise Arthur, I'm not about to just make him evil right off the bat. I do think there is something interesting to be found by digging deeper into the more complex interpretation of him rather than just spitting out a one-sided asshole. Also he's a 20 year old kid and I think there's comedy to be had with that fact. So, yeah.

**Prydwen | 0200 hours**

 

Arthur Maxson is making rounds of the massive airship he commands like he does every time he can’t sleep. The routine of it is so dreadfully uneventful at this time of night, that it usually ends up exhausting him enough to finally go back to bed. Tonight is no different from any other. He’s been running into absolutely nothing of importance and can feel a yawn threatening to overtake him. He almost considers returning to his quarters right then.

 

Until he _does_ run into something.

 

Paladin Danse and Knight Holmes are on the recreation deck by themselves. Maxson spots beer bottles laid out in front of them, which doesn’t bother him. Considering the day the pair of them had, they’re allowed a drink.

Or, six, judging by Addison’s collection of empties.

He’d heard a rumor that she drank Teagan under the table a while back during one of the drinking competitions the crew had on occasion for fun. If she keeps up this pace, he’s almost inclined to believe the story.

 

Danse is strewn across the sofa on his stomach, relaxing with his eyes closed and Addison is fidgeting with that damn pip-boy of hers in deep concentration on the other couch across from him. Her ridiculously long (non-regulation) brown hair is fastened at the top of her head in a messy bun. He’s seen her wear it like that before, noticing how cartoonish the ‘poof’ (for lack of a better word) looks at the top of her head. It’s… well, kind of _adorable?_ That thought makes Arthur uncomfortable now that he knows there’s clearly something more going on between the two in front of him.

 

He finds himself feeling embarrassed for how he’d acted when she first joined up with them. He’d been so stressed out with threats from the High Elders back on the West Coast and their insistence upon him finding a wife to continue his line.

And she’d just shown up out of nowhere. Arthur hadn’t thought much of her looks at the time. Holmes wasn’t exactly his type and he found her to be a bit crass (still does), but she’s the only Brotherhood member who wasn’t born into radiation and that means healthy children. And he needs healthy children.

Besides, it’s not like she was going to say _no_. Nobody has ever rejected him before, if you’ll excuse his hubris. He’s Elder Maxson. His soldiers will do anything for him. And though he doesn’t exactly like the fact that the entire Brotherhood worships him like some kind of God, he knows it means anyone would jump at the chance to marry him. 

So he’d been uncharacteristically way too forward in trying to talk to her. Flirt, if you will. One day he’d walked over to the power armor garage and started up a conversation with the Knight. Clearly, his attempts had all gone over her head and he’d ended up giving up.

That night after a few drinks he’d asked Danse for some advice while they were deep in a game of chess, something the two of them always did for fun when they weren’t on duty. He could tell Danse had been very uncomfortable in that situation from the way the Paladin tensed and averted his eyes from the Elder’s face, not being able to get a full sentence out. Danse had awkwardly explained Holmes’ situation regarding her dead husband and missing son, but said he would “keep an eye out and report back if he had any advice.”

 

Of course, it’s been nearly two months since that conversation and neither of them had mentioned it again.

Now he knows why.

He’s not upset, just a bit annoyed. Danse didn’t have to lie to him. He wasn’t going to forbid the Paladin to see her or anything like that. Sometimes Danse takes him way too seriously.

To be honest, Arthur had almost forgotten about the whole thing. Part of the reason it stressed him out in the first place is because he’s a very busy man with little to no room in his schedule for relaxation. He simply doesn’t have time to think about marriage or a family or anything, really, besides commanding the Prydwen and his crew.

This all leads up to the reason he hates noticing anything positive about Knight Holmes. He’s jealous. Of her. Arthur has known Danse since he’d joined the Brotherhood and they’ve become basically family throughout the years. Growing up in the Citadel, Danse was the first person Arthur ever considered to be a friend… besides Liberty Prime, which just goes to show how lonely of a childhood Arthur had suffered. Danse has always been like the older brother Arthur never had. They always hung out whenever they could, Danse had always let Arthur borrow from his collection of old history books, snuck Arthur his first drink when he was still a teenager, the man had even taught Arthur how to shave.

He barely even sees the Paladin anymore owing to the fact that Danse chooses to spend all his time with _her_ now even when they’re off duty.

 

She’s wearing regulation grey sweatpants (that Arthur realizes aren’t actually hers, they’re Danse’s and are way too big for her) and a thin black t-shirt. Oh, now they're sharing _clothes?_

His thoughts are interrupted when she speaks up.

 _“Danse,”_ he hears her whine.

It takes everything in Arthur not to sigh in annoyance. He doesn’t know how Danse can stand that shrill voice of hers. Let alone how he can put up with the ridiculous woman at all.

Danse manages to mumble, “Hmm?"

He neither opens his eyes nor takes his face away from being mashed comfortably into a throw pillow.

“Wake up,” she says as if commanding him into battle.

“Sleep. I need sleep,” he mumbles back.

“Are you still mad at me?”

Danse lets out a sigh and and finally opens his deep brown eyes, extending one arm out to her.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he croons softly.

 

Maxson’s jaw drops. Never- he has never heard Danse’s voice so… gentle or affectionate and is shocked to say the least.

Addison does what she’s told and takes his hand while she crawls up next to him on the sofa.

That’s the quickest Arthur has ever seen her follow an order and he’s kind of impressed, actually. Who knew Danse had game?

 

Ever so cautious, the Paladin makes sure to take a quick peek at the stairs to make sure they’re not being watched. Maxson is hidden fairly well behind a few crates and makes sure to keep extra quiet. He contemplates leaving, but just has to stay long enough to know exactly what is going on between the two.

Danse kisses Addison on the forehead sweetly.

“I’m not mad,” he states. 

“Today was rough," she says irritably. 

“I know it was, but I'm not mad at you." 

Her t-shirt rides up slightly, exposing just a speck of skin on her hip. Danse eyes it and immediately and slides it back down.

“What if I liked it that way?” Addison teases.

“Don’t start tonight. Not here. Behave,” Danse warns.

His tone is firm as always, but it’s accompanied by a slight grin.

“Whatever you say, Paladin,” she responds in a sing-song voice and snuggles closer to him so she can kiss his cheek softly.

 

Maxson’s face flushes out of embarrassment. He really shouldn’t be eavesdropping on this. Danse would be mortified if he found out. What if they started, like-? No, this is Danse. They’re in public. He would never… would he? Arthur isn’t sure he wants to know the answer to that.

As if Holmes hasn’t been a bad influence on Danse enough.

Arthur’s noticed how Danse follows her around like a puppy now, assisting her on her Minutemen duties and other missions that are not exactly Brotherhood material or approved by him first. Like the instance with the deathclaw in the Museum of Witchcraft today. Neither of them had any business being there, but they’d come back with technical documents for Quinlan so Arthur couldn’t exactly reprimand them for it.

Now that he thinks about it, they’d both reported back to the Prydwen in terrible moods. Maybe they got into a fight?

 

Suddenly, Danse tilts her chin to look him in the eyes.

“Can we actually talk about what happened today?” he asks, finally abandoning sleep.

“Sure,” she says with a shrug.

 

Clearly she does not want to talk about what happened today.

 

“I am… sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It was never my intention to make you cry. I was just… angry and worried and I shouldn’t have just let you leave by yourself.”

Addison bites her bottom lip and darts her eyes away from his before replying, “It’s okay. I’m sorry I overreacted a bit.”

She'd taken the egg and marched off so he wouldn't have to see her full-on ugly cry. She hadn't wanted to cry in front of Danse at all, really, but the more and more she kept replaying his words over in her head, the tighter the feeling in her chest got. She hasn't really allowed herself to cry like that since waking up from the vault and after a while of walking away from the museum, when she was finally alone, she'd had a full on mental breakdown right next to Parson's Insane Asylum. How fitting. 

“You had every right to be upset. I really did not think before I spoke. I don’t know what came over me," Danse admits

He really _didn’t_ know. He’s never lost his temper like that. Sure, he can be a drill sergeant sometimes and puts his soldiers in place when need be, but no one’s ever made him feel so angry he had to snap at them or just foolishly blurt out every horrible thought that popped into his brain. For a second he had forgotten Knight Holmes even existed. She was just _Addison_ in front of him back at the museum and that thought scares the shit out of him. His mind briefly flashes to Cutler, but he ignores it the best he can. This is different. She is different. She's not going to die on him. She'd said it herself, she cares about him too much to let that happen. 

“I understand you get mad when I don’t follow orders and stuff so you can yell at me for that all you want. I deserve it, but you saying you would just leave… you can’t say things like that to me, Danse. Please just try to not make what we do out there personal.”

Maxson is extremely confused as to what he’s hearing. Danse? Lose his temper? Make his subordinate _cry?_ Arthur has rarely heard his voice raise an octave above professional, even when he is upset. What the fuck was this girl doing to his best officer? Was Danse… _in love with her_ or something? He can suddenly feel a headache forming.

“I will… keep that in mind,” Danse responds after thinking her words over.

“Thanks, Danse,” she says, closing her eyes as he kisses her on the forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m right here,” he says, bringing his arms to wrap around her and hold her close.

“Can’t I stay in your room tonight?” she whispers.

 

Oh, _hell_ no. Arthur’s gotta get out of here. Abort mission. Abort-

 

Danse sighs. “We can’t. I’m sorry, Addison. You know I wish I could keep you with me always.”

“Why does it have to be such a big secret again?” she asks.

“To avoid the appearance of favoritism? I’m your commanding officer.”

She snorts.

“Oh yeah, like I could use sex to hang anything over that thick skull of yours,” she jokes.

 

Maxson’s releived to hear that at least. To Danse’s credit, he _is_ doing the smart thing. She's a recruit who'd been promoted to Knight the second she stepped on board and there's bound to be _talk._ The gossip on this ship is mind-numbing and petulant. 

 

“So when are we gonna be the same rank?” She jokes.

Arthur wants to laugh. Her? A Paladin? Not a chance.

“Probably not for a very long time. How should I know? Do I look like Elder Maxson to you?” Danse teases back. 

“No, thank God.”

What the fuck? That was rude. Arthur has half a mind to walk out from hiding and fucking strangle her right now. Who the hell does she think she is?

"Hey, be nice," Danse chides. 

"Or what?" she asks defiantly. 

Arthur's still pissed.

She isn’t anything special to look at either. And she isn’t fooling anyone with that nose. _Clearly_ , she’s had work done. Her stupid brown eyes and freckled face make her look like a _child_. And his scar looks cooler. Not that any of this even matters, he has to remind himself quickly. They have much more important things to worry about. They’re soldiers of the _Brotherhood of fucking Steel._

Jesus Christ, he’s getting himself worked up over nothing. This is why he doesn’t bother getting too personal with his soldiers in the first place. He is Elder Maxson.

He. Doesn’t. Have. Time.

Arthur realizes he’s been so caught up in thought that he didn’t even notice the two have started full-on making out on the couch right in front of him.

 

Oh God, this is his cue to leave.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't mean to make Arthur a jealous bi, but i did that.


	4. Cleansing the Commonwealth / Quartermastery (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was going fine, thank you very much. 
> 
> Until Danse had to go and get himself chased down by a mutant suicide bomber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this just popped into my head. part 2 is written and will follow shortly. i just didn't wanna put it all in one chapter and make it super long and arduous. 
> 
> for reference: this one's post-glowing sea (the first time around) and pre-relationship between the two

 

**Mass Pike Tunnel | 1300 Hours**

 

Addison and Danse are finishing up a simple assignment when they run into a bit of a roadblock. 

They're on their way out of Mass Pike Tunnel after doing a sweep of the area for Scribe Haylen and clearing it of ferals for Knight Rhys. The op had been simple enough. The ghouls were taken care of for the time being and they'd found some of the items Haylen had sent them to retrieve. The pair had gotten so good at these kinds of missions that they didn't even need to wait until daylight anymore to complete them. Out of sheer boredom and for something to pass the time, they'd agreed to help Rhys even at such a late hour. 

Killing two birds with one stone, if you ask them.

(Or, rather, killing over a dozen feral ghouls with a pair of laser rifles.)

All in all, a success. 

 

They happen to stumble upon a small group of super mutants who have set up camp in a raider post some distance away from the entrance to the tunnel. They could have easily retreated back into the tunnel and chosen a safer exit to leave out of, but where's the fun in that? 

 

Danse takes care of the first mutant quickly with three well-aimed headshots and begins firing at the second while Addison shoots the hound they have with them. Unexpectedly, it charges right for her with a growl and she stumbles backwards, giving her just enough time to drop the gun and grab the barbed-wire baseball bat from off her back instead. She beats the thing to death when it gets close enough.

 

“Tango down. You okay, soldier?” Danse asks when everything seems to be all clear.

Addison nods frantically, trying to massage her left shoulder that’s become a bit sore.

“Yeah, I’m-”

Her sentence is cut short when she hears the unmistakable noise of a timer getting closer and closer.

“Is that-?” she asks.

“Get behind me,” he orders, turning towards the noise.

The bomber emerges from around the corner of a building and starts running at them, screaming something along the lines of ‘die, humans die.’

Before Addison has any time to react, she feels a metal hand wrap around her own as Danse literally yanks her behind him.

 

Great plan. _Wonderful_ , actually, considering he’s the one with the power armor.

 

Danse begins firing his laser rifle, purposefully only shooting at the mutant’s legs so it will hopefully slow down enough to give them a chance to flee. They’re enough of a distance away that if it did decide to blow itself to hell, they wouldn’t go up in flames along with it. The mutant cries out in pain, but is relentless. Instead of slowing it down, Danse seems to have made it angry enough to start running even faster towards them.

“We have to run,” Addison says frantically, pulling him along with her as she runs in the opposite direction from the mutant.

Danse is right on her heels the entire time and they’ve run a decent distance away from the mutant when they come across a small pond. They stop and look out in front of them at the water, surveying the rest of the location for a way out.

“We have to go around, maybe it’ll lose us,” she suggests.

“Affirmative, Knight,” he agrees.

They go to run around the edge until Danse suddenly starts moving much slower than before. The red lights of the bomb are getting closer and the sound is becoming so loud it’s penetrating Addison’s ears.

“Danse, what the-“ she begins.

“My- Holy shit, my fusion core is dying,” he responds, awe-struck.

“What do you mean _dying?_ How much do you have left?”

“Five percent. I- I hadn’t even noticed it was that low.”

 

How the hell did that happen? Yeah, Addison’s still trying to figure that one out for herself. Danse is never unprepared. Never. He’d never get into his power armor before a mission without making sure it’s in the most pristine of conditions. He’s obsessive about it, almost to the point of insanity. There’s no way he could have put in a half-assed fusion core before a mission unless-

Oh shit. Her fusion core had 40% of a charge left when they’d returned from the Glowing Sea. She’d given it to him, not having any other use for it and he’d put it with the other ones in his tool box. They were in such a rush to leave the police station earlier that night that he must have accidentally picked up hers instead….

 

Addison looks behind Danse’s shoulder and sees that the bomber is gaining on them.

“Take it off,” she says.

“What?”

“Danse, take the suit off! We have to get out of here!”

“Absolutely not. The blast won’t be strong enough to penetrate my armor. You keep running and I’ll... I’ll just take the damage. It’ll distract it.”

“You can barely move! You don’t even have your helmet. It’ll blow your head off!”

“Dammit! Just give me another fusion core!”

“I didn't bring another one! You're the one who always carries the backup!" 

She can hear that the bomber is within seeing distance. It’s shouting obscenities at them, but Addison doesn’t dare look behind her. Instead she looks out to the water.

“We can to jump. If you eject the fusion core at it, you should have enough time to get out before it explodes," she blurts out, mind reeling as she tries to think of another option. 

Danse looks skeptical.

_“Danse!”_

“Fine,” he growls and hits the button to eject the core. It rockets out of the back of his suit and skids neatly onto the grass a few feet away from them.

“Okay!” she shouts. “Get out of there!”

He exits the power armor in record time, clearly on edge as he stumbles his way to her side.

“Hurry-” she yells, holding out her hand to him.

Before she finishes her sentence, Danse pushes her by her shoulders forcefully and she feels her body hit the water just as she hears an explosion. She holds her breath and stays underwater with her eyes closed for as long as she can before she runs out of air. She gasps as her head breaks past the surface and she can breathe again, treading water as she looks around at the damage done on land. Random body parts of the super mutant are skittered around the ground along with an immense amount of blood and guts. She searches frantically for Danse, praying to God that none of it is his.

 

He’s nowhere to be seen so she calls out his name. No response.

She calls out again. Still no response.

 

Addison is about to panic until she spots his body on the ground by the bright orange of his flight suit. She swims to the edge of the lake as fast as she can. She practically drags herself out of the water, sprints over to where Danse is laying, and falls to her knees. As she uses all of her strength to flip his body over from his stomach to his back, she repeats his name over and over again while trying to shake him awake. His forehead is bleeding from being knocked to the ground and his uniform is a mess of blood that is now seeping all over her. She finds the pulse at his neck, a faint pulse, but it’s there and it’s actually the only thing keeping her from having a mental breakdown at the moment.

 

_He’s alive. He’s going to be fine. Signal for a vertibird._

The whole thing ended up being _fine_ , which is frankly way worse than it should have been by their standards.

They are the best. This kind of error doesn’t usually happen to them.

And yet, here Addison is, clutching the unconscious body of the man she’s become surprisingly so fond of in her arms while the smoke from her grenade floats in the sky above them.

A huge boom of thunder rolls throughout the wasteland and a flash of lightning crashes in the sky as rain slowly begins to fall from the clouds above. It quickly turns into a downpour and Addison tries to have hope that Maxson will allow a vertibird to pick them up anyways.

Tears well in her eyes as she unzips Danse’s flight suit and sees small pieces of shrapnel of metal from the poorly-made bomb littering his chest. Most of them are tiny, but there’s one through his side where most of the blood pours out of him around it. She rummages through her bag and finds a Med-X. She can’t tell how deep the shrapnel is embedded in his body and knows it’s dangerous to try and remove it, but she takes a deep breath and pulls it out anyways, immediately stabbing him with the Med-X it in hopes that it will make the wound heal a bit faster. She takes an extra shirt out of her backpack and tries to keep as much pressure on the wound as she can.

~

**Arthur Maxson’s Private Quarters | The Prydwen | 1400 Hours**

 

Elder Maxson is sitting at his desk, staring blankly at the terminal in front of him. The day had been so stressful that he’d immediately poured himself a glass of whiskey after finally retiring for the night and is about to make a second drink until he hears a knock at his door.

“Enter,” he says, turning around to see who’s bothering him at this ungodly hour of the night.

The door opens to reveal Scribe Haylen, who had just arrived on the ship earlier that night to take a break from managing the Cambridge Police Station, leaving Knight Rhys in charge.

She’s in full uniform despite it being so late in the night and her sole reason for coming aboard the Prydwen being to rest and shower.

Arthur can’t help but notice the very worried expression on her face.

“Is there something wrong, Scribe?” he asks.

“Elder Maxson, a vertibird signal grenade just went up and Lancer-Captain Thompson is requesting permission for take off,” she explains.

“It’s four in the morning and it’s thunder-storming, Scribe, you know we don’t send out vertibirds in inclement weather.”

“Forgive me, sir, I know that, but-”

“But what, Scribe?”

Arthur can’t help the irritation in his voice. He’s tired. He just wants another drink.

“It’s coming from somewhere near the Mass Pike Interchange.”

 

The statement almost knocks the wind out of him.

 

“Isn’t that where-”

“Paladin Danse and Knight Holmes were sent tonight by Knight Rhys and I, yes. I’m sorry for interrupting, sir, but you know Danse wouldn’t use a signal grenade unless it was a dire emergency. I've gotten to know him pretty well during our recon mission and I’m afraid something has happened-”

“Tell Captain Thompson he has my permission to leave right away. And tell him to take backup,” Maxson says quickly and firmly, not needing any more of an explanation.

~

 

**Chestnut** **Hillock Reservoir | Sometime around 1400 Hours**

 

The signal grenade has only been out for ten minutes, but the vertibird lands some distance away and two knights jump out of it. Eyes wide with horror are hidden behind their helmets when they get close enough to see Paladin Danse out of his power armor, bleeding to death in Addison’s arms.

“He’s alive, _please_ ,” is all she says, voice thick with emotion. “I’m not sure for how much longer.”

They take him from her wordlessly, the first knight replacing her hand with his over the wound as they get him into the vertibird and onto a stretcher. Addison follows behind, climbing up into the vertibird proving to be a challenge in itself because she’s completely drenched in Danse’s blood and can’t seem to stop shaking.

 

Addison doesn’t remember the ride back to the Prydwen. Her mind goes absolutely blank. She feels numb and it’s comforting so she decides not to fight it.

 ~

**Prydwen Flight Deck | Sometime around 1400 Hours**

 

Maxson is waiting for them on the flight deck in person, despite the cold rain pouring down and the wind shaking the flight deck ever so lightly.

 He’s had at least four drinks by now, not being able to get the nervous feeling that either one of his two best soldiers is dead out of his system. He is confused and tense owing to the fact that in the months Holmes has been apart of the brotherhood and under Danse’s command, they haven’t once had to use the grenades he’d given them.

 When he sees that the Paladin is the one on a stretcher being carried off, the blood drains from Maxson’s face.

“Knight, report. Now,” he says to one of the knights holding the stretcher.

“Paladin Danse is alive, but he’s suffered explosive damage and I think there might be some internal bleeding. His pulse is extremely weak.”

“Take him to the medical bay right this instant and get someone to wake up Cade.”

“Yes, sir.”

Maxson turns his attention to Captain Thompson who looks disturbed as he walks over from the vertibird docking station.

“Elder Maxson, um, I don’t exactly know what’s going on, but-” he begins nervously.

“Where is Knight Holmes?” Maxson asks.

“Well, that’s the thing, sir. She’s still on the vertibird. She won’t get off. She’s not responding to anything I say. I don’t even know if she can hear me. I think she’s gone into shock.”

Mason beelines to the vertibird and sees Addison sitting inside it, staring out the front window, unmoving.

“Knight Holmes,” he announces, trying to get her attention.

She still doesn’t move.

“Knight Holmes,” he tries again, louder this time.

Still nothing.

He sighs and rubs his face with his hands before climbing up into the vertibird to sit next to her. He feels strangely awkward, having only had a handful of conversations with the woman before and none of them being very personal in any way. She looks horrible and is soaking wet from head to toe by what he assumes is the rain. Danse’s blood stains her uniform, her hands are shaking ever so slightly, and her eyes are more bloodshot than a Jet addicts.

 He decides to snap his fingers in front of her face to make sure her hearing isn’t damaged. That only earns him a blink.

“Knight,” he tries again, making his voice as gentle as he possibly can, bringing a hand to her shoulder.

She flinches at the touch and looks at him, finally.

“Where am I?” she asks him, eyes darting around her as if she’d just come back from another planet.

“You’re on the Prydwen. Captain Thompson was trying to get you out of the vertibird, but you weren’t responding.”

“But that’s not- I was with Danse just a second ago, we were-“

The Elder watches as everything comes back to her.

“Where is he?” she asks, a bit frantically.

“He’s unconscious on his way to the medical bay. He’s probably going into surgery with Cade as we speak.”

She looks down at his hand on her shoulder and he removes it awkwardly.

“Knight, I need a full field report. Now. How did this happen?”

 

She swallows and takes a breath before telling him exactly what had happened, her eyes filling with tears.

 

“It’s _my_ fault. I told him to get out of his power armor. I didn’t think- Maybe if he would have just stayed in it-“ she rambles irrationally.

“Holmes,” Maxson interrupts.

Addison closes her mouth.

“This is not your fault. You made the right call.”

She nods quickly, looking down at the floor.

“What’s happening to me?” she asks in a whisper.

“You’re in shock,” he explains. “With Cade being pre-disposed, you’re to report to any other medic on duty in the clinic right away. Is that clear?”

Addison nods again and Maxson lets out another sigh of pure exhaustion.

~

**Prydwen Med-Bay | 1500 Hours**

 

Addison is sitting on the floor outside the medical bay, hugging her knees to her chest while she waits for Danse to get out of surgery. It’s been a little over an hour and she’s still trying to process everything that’s just happened. The medic had cleared her and recommended she get some rest, but she’d run to the med bay as soon as she was able.

Sleep is definitely out of the question seeing as she’s too worried to even close her eyes. She can’t find it in herself to leave. She hasn’t spent a day without Danse in a little over a month and doesn’t exactly know what to do with herself.

Addison hears footsteps approaching from down the hallway and looks up to see Elder Maxson standing in front of her.

 

Arthur doesn’t know what else he’d expected. Addison and Danse are basically inseparable at this point and he knows exactly what the guilt she feels right now is like. She’s still in the bloody uniform, which tells him she hadn’t even hesitated to be as close to Danse as possible after being examined by the medic. Her hair has dried messily from the rain and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Her eyes are swollen and red from crying and he wonders when the last time she ate something was.  

“Knight,” he announces.

“Elder,” she responds.

“Paladin Danse is one of my best officers. He is very strong. That is how I know he’s going to be just fine.”

That’s not what she’s expecting to hear from him, but she appreciates the sentiment.

“I just want to be here when he wakes up,” she admits, hugging her knees closer to her chest.

“That probably won’t be for a good long while,” he tries to reason with her. “All the Med-X and anesthesia will probably keep him knocked out well after surgery.”

“I know, but-“

“When he wakes up, he’s going to need you at your best, Holmes. You have my word that if anything happens while you’re gone, you will be the first person aboard this ship to know. Go take a shower, send your uniform down to laundry, eat something, and try to get some sleep. That’s an order, Knight," he orders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought it would be interesting to have Danse be the injured one for once since most fics i've read involve the sole survivor being injured. i promise the next part will be a lot funnier, true to addison's terrible coping methods.


	5. Cleansing the Commonwealth / Quartermastery (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse is in hospital so Addison decides to get drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shenanigans. pure and utter shenanigans, i’ll tell ya. 
> 
> this is partially a crack!chapter and was inspired by a joke i tweeted.

**Prydwen Med-Bay | 1000 Hours**

 

Addison is pacing back in forth in front of Danse’s bed. His surgery had gone fine, but he still isn’t conscious.

 

And frankly, she’s losing her mind.

 

She’s taken almost an entire can of mentats, the amphetamines buzzing through her body like fireworks. She’s so high, her diet for the morning consisting of the chems, the pathetic excuse for coffee the Prydwen manages to brew daily, and half a pack of cigarettes (so far).

 

Mentats make her body seem almost mechanical, and when she flexes her stiff muscles that cramp up frequently, they feel more like wires on the fritz than actual parts of the human body.

 

It’s a wonder she hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet.

 

_3… 2… 1… initiate self-destruct._

 

Ha. If only.

 

She smirks to herself at her own terrible joke, but it turns to a frown as soon as she glances up at Danse on the cot. The main thing that’s bothering her is the fact that she _cares_ so much. This shouldn’t be happening to her. She made a promise to herself that after everything she’s gone through, she wouldn’t get attached to anyone else that _intimately_ again. One part of her understands this completely, but the other part tirelessly screams against it. Every time she has a negative thought about her feelings toward Danse, something seems to counteract it. No matter how hard she tries to convince herself that there is _nothing_ more than feelings of strictly _companionship_ inside whatever is left of her heart, she is embarrassingly proved wrong.

 

The internal battle between her brain and heart usually goes something like this:

 

_‘God knows you paid for being with Nate and it wasn’t worth it.’_

 

‘But this is _Danse_ we’re talking about. He’s different… Isn’t he?’

 

_‘Why would he be? You’re fucked in the head, kiddo. You’re only attracted to things that end up poisoning you.’_

‘No. Danse would never _ever_ be like that. You just don’t understand-”

 

_‘I am your fucking brain! My whole job is to understand-‘_

And that’s just the thing. That’s the scary part. Danse _isn’t_ toxic. Danse is the exact opposite of everything Addison is used to being around, everyone she’s ever had strong feelings for.

 

She doesn’t know how to act around him sometimes. They’re from _different worlds_ and it’s because of something much deeper than just pre-war and post-war. Danse’s world is all order and dedication and honor, and all Addison has ever known is the exact opposite.

 

“Knight Holmes,” Knight-Captain Cade drawls with a sigh as he enters the room, breaking her from her thoughts.

“Hm?” she responds, not taking her eyes off the floor she continues to pace.

“I can only image how traumatic this experience was for you, but I can assure you that Paladin Danse will be fine. I was given orders from the Elder personally that you will be the first person I notify upon his return to the land of the living.”

 

Cade has duped the new recruit as one of his ‘regulars’ because of her frequent trips to his medical bay. She infuriatingly insists on not wearing power armor unless it’s absolutely necessary and though Cade isn’t a licensed psychiatrist by any means, her list of un-diagnosed mental illnesses is about a mile and a half long. They’ve become quite friendly, both sharing a few similar personality traits, most notably their fondness for sarcasm and rather dark sense of humor. The doctor admits he’s quite fond of the Knight. Her bouts of strange behavior have turned into something more amusing to him than annoying.

 

“Oh, I know,” she says nonchalantly, waving her hand at him for explaining what she already knows.

Cade gives her a curious look.

“Then can I ask why you’re pacing in my med-bay?”

She stops the pacing and huffs out a breath before finally looking up at him.

“I’m bored,” she admits with annoyance.

_“Bored?”_

“Yeah. This is the first day off I’ve had in, like, weeks. I don’t know what else to do with myself. And it’s not like I have Danse to talk to. Can’t you revive him faster? And why is it taking so long for him to wake up, anyways? What did you give him? A _brahmin tranquilizer_ or something?” she asks, questions flying from her mouth at an electric pace.

 

Cade rolls his eyes. He can tell she’s high as the Prydwen, but he doesn’t bother saying anything about it because she’s not exactly on-duty. What she does for recreation isn’t his problem as long as she’s being responsible.

 

Ha. Responsible chem intake. Cade almost laughs at the irony.  

 

“He’s been concussed. Let him sleep,” the doctor says.

The Knight sighs, knowing he’s absolutely right.

“I don’t like this, Cade. I’m getting all panicky and stuff and this ship’s starting to make me feel claustrophobic again.”

Cade is well aware of her rather irrational fear of ‘airplanes’ (as she’s fond of calling aircrafts) and the claustrophobia she now suffers from being frozen in a cryo-pod for over 200 years.

“Wait down at the airport?” he offers.

“I can’t just _leave!_ What if he wakes up?” she asks, arm outstretching to gesture at Danse, as if it’s the most obvious and reasonable excuse for her current behavior.

 

Cade still finds it in himself to admire her loyalty. It’s been a while since Danse has gotten close to anyone, dealing with problems of his own, and the fact that Addison is so concerned about him is endearing if nothing else.

 

“All due respect, Knight, that sounds like a ‘you’ problem. Now, unless you suspect you’re having an anxiety attack, I can’t help you right now.”

She groans miserably.

“I’m sure someone on this ship has something you can do to keep busy. Have you asked Proctor Quinlan? From what I hear, he’s been having a hard time-“

“Filing his documents. Yeah, I know,” she finishes for him. “I already filed all of them for him this morning- alphabetical order and everything! And I’ve helped Teagan re-price some of his merchandise, Ingram and I fixed Danse’s power armor, I organized all the tools in the garage by type, and I even helped Neriah take notes on her mole rats!”

 

Cade doesn’t know if he should be concerned or impressed.

 

“It’s only been _six hours_ ,” he says, voice straining.

“ _I can’t sleep!_ I’m losing it over here, Cade! You gotta help me out!” she pleads, trying to defend herself.

 

Addison realizes she’s being way more dramatic than necessary, but it’s not like she can help it. This ship is mind-numbing at it’s best and downright terrifying at it’s worst, which she had to live through _alone_ this morning during the storm. Planes are a _huge_ red flag for her, especially when there’s a raging thunderstorm and the chances of them getting struck out of the sky by lightning are higher than normal because they’re floating docile in the middle of the air.

 

“Sadly, I have to say I can’t offer much else for you to do… unless you’d like to organize the medicine cabinets,” Cade says.

“Which ones?”

 

~

 

She finishes in an hour, watches Danse sleep for 20 minutes more in complete silence, and then leaves, heading to his room.

 

~

**Paladin Danse’s Private Quarters | The Prydwen | Sometime around 2000 Hours**

 

After cleaning the entire room twice over, Addison looks down at the clock on her pip-boy and groans. Why is time going so _slowly?_ She’s starting to get jittery thanks to the mentats and begins pacing again until she has an idea.

 

Sure enough, when she opens one of Danse’s storage lockers she finds exactly what she’s looking for: a golf club and a bucket of golf balls.

 

She smiles.

 

~

**Proctor Teagan’s Cage | The Prydwen | Sometime around 2000 Hours**

 

“Teagan, can I get that twelve case of Gwinnett Stout?” she asks, standing in front of his enclosed market, just tall enough to see over the counter.

“Can I see some identification, please? How old are you?” The Proctor jokes.

“Left my ID at home, but I graduated in ’74,” she responds sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t let the Elder know. I could get into big trouble if he found out I sold to an underage Squire,” he jokes with a chuckle.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

He hands her the case of beer and she hands him her caps.

 

“You gonna drink all that by yourself?” he asks.

“Unless Danse wakes up sometime in the next two hours, that’s the goal.”

“I’m jealous,” he says, sounding impressed. “Have fun. Try not to fall down any stairs.”

“Will do,” she says with a small smile, taking the case off the counter.

 

Addison walks past him and down the stairs to the deep interior of the Prydwen, heading straight for the forecastle.

 

~

**Prydwen Forecastle | Sometime around 2000 Hours**

 

When she opens the door, she takes a deep breath of fresh air and steps out into the crisp morning. No one else is currently occupying the small walkway so she sets up camp.

 

She places the case of beer and military duffle bag currently slung across her back down on the floor before she opens one of the foldable chairs leaning against the outside of the ship. Whoever put the set of them up here is a genius because this is without a doubt the best view of the Commonwealth you can get, even if it is on a flying death trap in the sky. She flicks up her wrist to get a better look at her Pip-Boy, toggles to her radio, and flips on Travis’ station from Diamond City that plays all the popular music from before the war.

 

It’s nice to know people still appreciate the classics.

 

She ignores the golf equipment for the time being because she isn’t nearly drunk enough to start acting belligerent just yet and the sun feels good as it slowly warms her skin. She takes off her shirt and sweatpants, leaving her in a sports bra and a pair of gym shorts. After opening her first beer against the railing and pocketing the bottle cap, she puts on a pair of sunglasses and sits down, letting herself bask in the glow of the sun to try and relax.

 

This is nice. Good plan, Addison. Good plan. She could use a tan.

 

~

 

By the time Addison’s on beer five, she’s definitely feeling the buzz of alcohol mix with the mentats, which is arguably the best sort of high that Hancock has ever introduced her to. She hasn’t eaten since Maxson ordered her to, so it’s a lot easier for her to get drunk. She just has to make sure she doesn’t take it too far. Wouldn’t want to fall down the stairs like Teagan had warned. Or, worse, fall asleep up here. Or, even more worse, black out completely and do something moronic that’ll get her sent straight to the brig.

 

Addison still has to wrap her head around the fact that she is day drinking alone. On the forecastle of the Prydwen.

Cross-faded as shit.

While Danse is in hospital.

 

This is so sad, Travis, play ‘It’s All Over But the Crying.’

 

Unfortunately, the next song that plays through the speakers of the radio is ‘Uranium Fever’ and because she can’t resist jamming to that bop, she sighs and stands up.

 

Golf time.

 

Before she knows it, Danse is the last thing on her mind.

 

~

 

Addison doesn’t realize it at the time, but she’s singing loudly to the music on the radio while whacking golf balls off the forecastle through the railings one at a time, amusement found by the distance each makes in her drunken state. She imagines the balls are all probably falling right to the airport and is hoping this doesn’t bring about any casualties down below.

 

She can just see the headline of the next issue of _Publik Occurrences_ now: _Brotherhood Squire Dies Comatose in Freak Accident. Death By Golfball._

 

She laughs out loud and sets another ball down on her makeshift tee, lining up Danse’s driver with it for her next shot.

 

~

 

**Prydwen Observation Deck | 1300 hours**

 

Elder Maxson is in the middle of speaking with Kells when his sentence gets cut off by the sudden look on the Lancer-Captain’s face as he stares at something out the window.

“Is there a problem, Kells?” Maxson asks idly.

“Sorry, sir, it’s just- I thought I saw something fly across the sky,” Kells replies, clearly shook by whatever it was.

“A… bird maybe?” Maxson offers. “They are creatures known to inhabit the sky.”

He realizes he’s being condescending, but he’s known Kells most of his life so the Elder is allowed to drop decorum with the Captain.  

“No, it… it looked like a... ball of some sort. I must just be imagining things.”

Maxson gives Kells a strange look, but turns around and stares out the window as well. He allows ten seconds to go by as they both observe the view of the Commonwealth in silence before he clears his throat. Not taking his eyes away from the window, Maxson beings to continue where he’d left off.

“As I was saying-“

Just as he turns back to Kells, the Captain points over his shoulder.

“There it is! I saw it again!”

Maxson is quick enough to catch it this time as well. It’s definitely a ball of some sort being launched across the sky, falling down to the airport on the ground below them when gravity eventually takes control of it.

“Where do you suppose it’s coming from?” Kells asks.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Arthur admits, dumbfounded.

“Maybe the forecastle?”

 

~

 

**Prydwen Foredeck | Sometime around 1300 Hours**

 

The Elder and the Captain walk outside to the foredeck and peer up at the walkway above them. Maxson has to blink repeatedly, not believing his own eyes. _Someone_ seems to be hitting _golf balls_ off of the forecastle. There’s the sound of the Diamond City radio station playing _very_ loudly and the second Arthur hears a voice begin to sing along, he knows _exactly_ who it belongs to.

 

~

 

**Prydwen Forecastle | Sometime around 1300 Hours**

 

As Addison bends down to line up another ball for the next shot, she sees two figures on the foredeck below her. She stands up and stumbles her way to the railing, leaning off of it to get a better look.

 

She squints, vision a little blurry, and it takes her a second to recognize the two men. She smiles brightly and waves.

“Elder? Kells? Is that you? Lovely afternoon for a game, huh?” she asks, words slurring a little, followed by a long fit of giggles.

 

Maxson is staring at her like she’s a fucking lunatic.

 

“Knight Holmes, are you _drunk?_ ” He asks, appalled.

 

A hiccup escapes her mouth before she can even respond.

 

~

**Prydwen Med-Bay | Sometime around 1300 Hours**

 

“Eat,” Maxson says firmly, pointing to the two slices of bread and cup of noodles that have been placed on the table in front of Addison.  

 

Surprisingly, she just shrugs and does as she’s told.

 

“She’ll be fine. She just drank a lot on an empty stomach,” Cade explains, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “She’s probably going to regret it after she takes a nap and wakes up, though.”

“Good,” Maxson retorts, giving the Knight a death glare.

 

He’s so fucking _annoying_. How can a single twenty-year-old _kid_ be filled with so much snark? Addison is too drunk to realize she’s actually answered her own question.

 

“Sorry to bust your balls there, Elder, but I actually don’t get hangovers anymore. It’s my superpower,” she says over a mouthful of noodles.

His eyes go wide at the vulgarity, but he reminds himself that she probably doesn’t even realize what she’s saying right now.

“Then maybe your punishment should be more severe,” he growls.

“Punishment for what, exactly, again? I didn’t do anything _wrong_. I’m allowed to drink if I want when I’m off-duty, the forecastle is open to everyone aboard the ship, and you haven’t gotten a complaint from anyone down at the airport yet, have you?”

 

“She has a point, Elder,” a random Scribe, healing from a broken arm on one of the cots from across the room, says with a small shrug.

“I don’t remember inviting you to be part of this conversation, Scribe Smith,” Maxson says, effectively shutting the man up. 

 

His patience is wearing _very_ thin today.

 

“Why is she acting like this?” Arthur asks Cade, as if Addison’s not right there in front of them.

“She told me this morning that she was bored without Danse and no one else on the ship had any more favors for her to do,” Cade responds.

 

Addison frowns deeply at the mention of Danse. She’d forgotten about him for a little while there, which was her excuse for drinking in the first place. Now she’s just sad. She can’t help the tears that pool in her eyes and she sniffles, causing Cade and Maxson to look down at her.

“What’s wrong?” Cade asks.

“I miss Danse,” she says sadly, attempting to keep her drunken tears at bay for the sake of her pride if not anything else.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours, Knight,” Maxson says with complete exasperation.

“Well, that’s the longest we’ve been apart since, like, forever!”

 

Oh, _God_. She’s a sentimental drunk now. Great. Honestly, Arthur would prefer _anything_ else right now.

 

“Addison-“ Cade begins, putting a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her.

“That’s what _Danse_ used to call me!” she whines.

 

Arthur can’t take much more of this. He can literally feel his brain cells dying.

 

“That… that’s because it’s your name,” Cade says, trying the best he can to keep her from crying.

“He’s unconscious, Knight. Not _dead_.” Arthur adds, gritting his teeth.

“Why are you yelling at me?” Addison asks sadly.

“I’m not- did I yell?” the Elder looks up to Cade, clearly shocked at the accusation and taking it to heart.

The tone of his voice suddenly reminds Cade of how young Arthur actually is.

“You’re screaming at me!” she says, wiping the tears from her eyes frantically before they can fall down her cheeks.

 

This is extremely out of character for her. She’s always been very unemotional, if not _stoic_ , aboard the Prydwen and now she’s plastered and blubbering like a baby.

 

“Your outburst is completely out of line, Holmes. As was the decision to become intoxicated and disorderly on my ship-”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m _bothering_ you with my _feelings_ ,” she bursts out.

Arthur closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to stop the migraine forming in his brain.

“Cade, wake him up. I can’t deal with this,” he orders, knowing fully well that Cade _can’t_ do that.

“If only it were that easy,” the doctor replies, trying not to laugh at his superior’s frustration.

“Fine. It’s your problem, then,” Maxson orders, storming out of the med-bay, leaving Cade and Addison alone.

 

~

**Prydwen Med-Bay | 2100 Hours**

 

When Danse wakes up, it’s in a familiar hospital cot aboard the Prydwen. The first thing he sees is Knight-Captain Cade smiling down at him.

 

“Welcome back, Paladin,” the doctor says with a small smile.

“I- How long was I out?” Danse asks groggily as he attempts to move himself into a sitting position.

 

The man can never just _relax_. He always has to be ready for action. It reminds Cade of a certain someone else on board the ship.

“Not even a day,” he informs the Paladin. “Though you’ve missed quite the excitement…”

 

~

 

Within a few minutes, Addison is bursting through the doors of the med-bay, Elder Maxson following close behind her.

Danse stares up at his two friends in awe at their impeccable timing.

“Addison, I-” he says when he spots her marching towards him the fastest.  

Arthur stands a few feet away from the foot of the bed, hands clasped behind his back, his face as unemotional as ever.

“You know something?” she cuts Danse off with an angry hiss. “You give me a lot of shit for _stupid_ things like being irresponsible and getting myself addicted to psycho instead of wearing my power armor, but I’d personally feel a hell of a lot better knowing my best friend was _smart enough_ to take the time to actually make sure his fusion core was completely charged before we run off into a-”

“I- wait, what?” Danse asks in awe.

“What?” She repeats.

Her tone drips confusion, opposite of his confusion, though.

“I think Knight Holmes’ question was quite clear,” Maxson says, no doubt wanting an explanation from the Paladin himself as well.

“I- I don’t-” Danse struggles to come up with an explanation for his Elder before turning back to look at Addison.

“What… did you just say?” he explains his question.

Addison’s eyes go wide.

“That I’m a drug addict? _Jesus_ , Danse!” she exclaims, voice turning to a whisper now while looking around to make sure no one else is listening, “ _Keep it down, would you?_ You already know this.”

“No, not _that._ I mean, _after_ that. I’m- I’m… you said I was… your- best... friend?” He asks with genuine uncertainty.

 

Addison can’t do much at the moment besides blink a few times. Had he really just asked her that?

 

What she wants to reply is: _‘No, actually, I’ve spent the last day and a half worrying myself sick and having an existential crisis because I think I actually love you. Maybe. Possibly.’_

 

But she can’t.

 

Also she’s probably given Elder Maxson enough of a heart attack for one day.

 

“Well, yeah, Danse. Of course you are,” she reassures him as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Of course you’re my best friend.”

There’s a few moments of silence and she’s starting to feel awkward, especially with Cade and Maxson in the room listening to this conversation.

She then turns to Cade and asks, “Is he _okay_? Why is he talking crazy?”

Cade just flashes a grin and says, “He could still be a bit lethargic from the chems, but… I think Paladin Danse is just confused.”

“Affirmative,” Danse mumbles in agreement, moving his big brown eyes down to the sheets in front of him instead of looking at Addison.

“Confused about… what?” she asks.

 

Danse is confused about a lot right now, actually. He’s only just woken up maybe... what- five minutes ago? The last thing he remembers is being outside Mass Pike Tunnel, seeing the mutant suicider, and completely panicking as he pushed Addison into the lake in front of them. He now realizes he could have easily jumped in with her (and most likely saved himself a trip to the hospital) but, like he just said, he panicked, which is unusual for him.

 

The only thing on his mind the entire time had been making sure Addison- _Knight Holmes_ , he corrects himself, (she’s his subordinate. he’s her commanding officer. _and even though they’ve gotten to a first-name basis_ , at the end of the day, that’s what they are. just officers of the Brotherhood assigned to the same team) was safe.

 

He can’t lose another soldier, he absolutely _can’t-_ not after everything he’s been through with Gladius- and he tries to convince himself that that’s the extent of it. After all, that’s what Addison sees him as: her commanding officer. Or it _was_ , until _now_ , apparently.

 

She’s just called him her best friend. He hasn’t been anyone’s best friend since… well, since n _ever_ , really. The closest he’s come to having anyone he could remotely describe as being a close friend is Cutler.

 

And Cutler certainly had never referred to Danse as his _best_ friend.

 

What exactly does this mean?

 

“Danse?” Addison asks, snapping her fingers in front of the man’s face.

“Huh-?” he says, suddenly coming back to reality.

“You- you’re starting to scare me a bit now.”

“Sorry- I just didn’t realize you… no one’s ever called me that before.”

 

_Oh._

“I- um, I didn’t know I was supposed to. I figured you just… knew, I guess? It’s not like you plan on becoming friends with someone, it just happens. I’m with you, like, every day. We do everything together, Danse. I trust you more than anyone. I just- you’re my best friend. Why else would I still be here?” Addison replies, hoping to God she’s worded that right.

 

Arthur has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at how painfully awkward the conversation taking place in front of him is. He would say something, but he honestly has no clue how to even respond.

 

“I figured you felt you had had a civil duty and responsibility to protect the commonwealth,” Danse tells Addison with one eyebrow raised slightly and that look on his face that’s saved especially for her, which is always code for ‘you’re not taking the Brotherhood as seriously as you should be.’

“No- God, no. I mean, that’s not _entirely_ it. At first, I just joined because I wanted some power armor to get to the Glowing Sea. No offense-“ she quickly says, turning to Maxson, who just raises an eyebrow and chooses to ignore the confession.

“But then what can I say?” she continues. “You made me want to stick around and kick ass with you.”

The Elder clears his throat.

“…And uphold the integrity and ideals of the Brotherhood of Steel,” she continues.

He seems satisfied enough with the response.

 

“Look, all I’m saying is I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and you need to get better _really_ quickly because I’m getting _really_ fucking bored on this ship without you-“

“She’s not kidding,” Cade pipes in. “I was almost convinced Arthur was going to throw her off the flight deck.”

“What did you do?” Danse asks with a groan.

“Okay,” she announces, holding out her hand to Danse in a halting gesture. She then turns to Cade to finish her sentence, “You show me in the Codex the _exact_ line where it says I can’t hit golf balls off of the forecastle, and then we can have a conversation-”

“You did _what?“_ Danse hisses, not even wanting to know where she got that ludacris idea from.

Maxson clears his throat, reminding the trio in front of him that he’s still in the room and their faces all turn red with embarrassment.

 

“You would not believe the fucking day I’ve had,” Addison says, turning back to look at Danse.

 

He already believes her.

 

“You’re always welcome to scrub the deck while Paladin Danse recovers, Knight. I’m sure the Initiates wouldn’t mind the help,” Arthur says, side-eyeing the woman in the way that Danse has come to understand means _‘do not test me.’_

Addison’s eyes squint closed at the painful memory (or lack thereof) from earlier today when she’d managed to make somewhat of a fool of herself in front of Maxson.

“I think I’ll pass on that one, Elder, but thanks for the offer,” she responds.

She opens her eyes and looks at Arthur now, flashing him one of her brightest fake smiles. 

 

That actually makes Danse chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol just realized after re-reading this that Maxson in the med-bay is basically Snape during the hospital scene in HBP 
> 
> (and yes the whole best friend thing was inspired by sherlock & john from that one scene in 'the sign of three')
> 
> but, alright, enough with them being happy and shit. coming up in the next few chapters: we'll meet more companions, give Danse that top-tier, pre-relationship awkwardness back, and possibly get to blind betrayal if i stop crying long enough to finish writing it.


End file.
